How to help a newly arrived refugee family

Read the post twice and write down the exact help they ask for: food, clothing, equipment, a device, school supplies, time or a skill. Start with their words, not your assumptions. Ask yourself what they say they need, what language they speak, and what their resettlement agency already provides. If the post does not say, ask in the public comments. You do not need to give money to ask a question there, and the owner is expected to answer.

Keep your first question short and specific. Try: 'I can offer [item] or [time]. Would that be useful? What kind or size works, and what language do you prefer?' Do not ask for their address yet. Do not ask about their journey or immigration status. Let them decide what to share.

Practical orientation, like how the buses work, is often as valuable as things. If they ask for goods, ask what they already have. If they ask for time, ask which days are realistic. Write down the answer so you do not offer the same thing twice.

Decide what you can actually do before you type. A good offer is specific and limited: 'I can bring [items] on [day] to [public place].' Or: 'I can practice English for 30 minutes on [day].' Do not promise weekly rides or ongoing help unless you are sure you can keep the promise. Check your time, car, budget and energy first.

Ask about food preferences and allergies before you bring food. Ask for sizes before you bring clothing. Ask whether they want a device or school supplies, not just whether they need them. If you cannot give what they asked for, say so and offer something else from their list. A smaller useful gift is better than a large surprise.

On HelpBLESS, non-money help is offered on the post. The owner chooses which offers to accept. Contact details are shared only after an offer is accepted, and a safety checklist is emailed to both of you. Keep the offer in the post until they accept. Do not ask them to move to a private app first.

Start with a local guide for the first weeks: shops, buses, school. Keep it small. One trip to a grocery store, one bus route, one school office. Try: 'I can show you the bus stop and the nearest shop on [day]. Would that help?' Let them choose the day and the pace. Do not turn a short errand into a long tour.

Give items from their list. If you bring clothes, bring the sizes they named. If you bring food, bring what they asked for. If you bring school supplies, ask what the school requires. Do not add condition after condition. 'This is for you' is enough.

Offer translation or conversation practice only if you can do it without taking over. Use short sentences. Write down names, times and places. Let them practice speaking. Keep the focus on what they want to learn, not on what you want to teach. Ask before you bring a friend or family member along.

Keep their address and immigration details private. Do not ask about their journey or immigration status. If they tell you either one, do not repeat it in comments, messages or posts. Do not post photos of the family without permission. If a post involves a child, the post must come from a parent or legal guardian, with first names only. Talk with the parent or guardian, not the child alone.

Meet in a public place first. Tell someone where you are going and when you expect to be back. If your offer includes a ride, hosting or care in a home, you need a verified photo, ID or background check badge first. That rule protects both of you. Do not move the meeting to a home or a car before the badge step is done.

If anyone pressures you, asks for money outside HelpBLESS, or asks you to use a wire, gift card, crypto or another app, stop. Never pay outside HelpBLESS, even if the owner or a stranger says it is faster. Use the Report button on the post. Staff follow up and may remove posts or close accounts. Block anyone who keeps pushing.

Tell them early if plans change. Try: 'I cannot do [item/time] as planned. I can do [alternative] on [day], or I can step back so someone else can help.' A short message is better than silence. Do not disappear after an offer is accepted.

If the item is wrong, ask before you replace it. If you promised a ride and cannot drive, say so as soon as you know. If you cannot finish a task, say what you did finish and what is still open. Do not hand their contact details to a friend without asking them first.

Keep boundaries. A gift is a gift. Do not attach conditions later or ask for something in return. If you feel unsafe or pressured, stop and report. If you need to end the help, say when you will stop and what they can do next. Leave the post open for another offer if the owner wants that.

Offer time and skills that you can repeat. Translation, conversation practice, a local guide, device setup, or shopping from their list. Pick one thing and name the limit: 'I can practice English with you for 30 minutes every [day] for [number] weeks.' Do not promise to be their only contact. A steady small offer is easier to keep.

Share outside help carefully. If the family needs help with rent, utilities, food or health care, 211 is a free, confidential line. Dial 211. The Office of Refugee Resettlement runs federal programs for refugees, asylees and other newcomers. Program rules vary by place, so let the family or the resettlement agency confirm details. Do not apply for them or speak for them.

Use the HelpBLESS Safety center for how to meet, give and accept help safely. Use Help without money to see ways to ask for or give time, skills and things instead of cash. Before you buy anything, reread their list. Then offer one clear thing you can do this week.